What makes you nervous?
It used to be … Peace.
I wish I was joking.
Big, loud chaos? I used to handle that like a professional. Deadlines, stress, emotional rollercoasters—I thrived in that environment like it was my full-time job (with unpaid overtime, of course).
But calm? Silence? Nothing going wrong?
Suspicious.
There was a time when if everything felt too okay, I’d start scanning for problems like a detective with trust issues. Something’s off. Where’s the catch? Who forgot to ruin my day?
Turns out, I wasn’t used to peace—I was used to surviving.
And when you’re used to survival mode, stability feels… unnatural. Like wearing heels on grass. Technically doable, but deeply uncomfortable.
I used to also got nervous about slowing down. Because slowing down meant feeling. And feeling used to come with a side of let’s escape this immediately. So yeah, I avoided that like it was a group text I didn’t want to reply to.
But here’s what I’m learning:
Nervous doesn’t mean wrong.
It just means new.
These days, when peace shows up and my brain goes, This feels weird, I don’t run. I don’t sabotage it. I just… sit with it. Let it be awkward. Let it settle.
Because maybe—just maybe—this is what life is supposed to feel like.
Not a constant emergency.
Just a quiet, steady… okay.
UNCLOUDED 